This Is The Year That Has Destroyed Me

Lyrics

This is the year that has destroyed me,
that corroded my hair;
the little that’s left of it has gone grey,
disappearing in the wind.

No physician can help me
nor anything under the sun except one thing –
that I should see my first love;
I am losing my reason without her.

My eyes are shedding tears
more rapidly than the stream;
my mouth has gone dry,
my heart has grown weak.
My step is slowing down;
my sleep has been lost.
Pity I wasn’t under the ground
in the cemetery over there.
My head is full
of a high fever;
the delirium of loving you
and longing for your love.
I am so sorry
about something I cannot tell;
my heart carries a burden
that neither fiddle nor pipes will lift.
That neither fiddle or clàrsach
nor the great pipes of the melodious drones will lift,
since my sweetheart parted
from me on Portree shore.
Though I would suffer five years
of angushed pain,
whether because of vain thoughts
or death throes.
This was the appearance of my sweetheart;
clean red cheeks like the rose,
your blue eyes under thin brows,
your side like bog cotton in a meadow.
Sweet mouth like harpstrings,
your hair like golden jewels,
elegant light-stepping calves,
you would lift my grief and my distress.
I am displeased with my relatives
and my parents
because they would not permit me to marry
the young, most virtuous maiden.
And if they have deceived you
I will send after you quickly
a hundred blessings every day.

How I chose the Song

I wanted to research songs from the village I grew up in – Sconser on the Isle of Skye. I already knew of the song “Seinneam cliù nam fear ùr” that was written by Iain Dhòmhnaill Bhàin (John MacLeod) from Torramiochaig (a village that was close to Sconser, and the area of Sconser nowadays that I grew up in). I wasn’t sure if I would find anything else from the area, but luckily I found this song by searching “Sconser” on Tobar an Dualchais. A recording of Alexander Nicolson, recorded by Calum MacLean, came up of this song. I later found another recording of the song on Tobar an Dualchais by James Nicolson, and both recordings tell similar stories of the song, and they both mention Torramiochaig.
Words for this song can be found in An t-Òranaiche, and I have used a mixture of verses from this book and from the recording.

The Author

From what I found out from the recordings on Tobar an Dualchais, it was Alexander Matheson who wrote this song. There wasn’t much information about him, but with some help from the archive at Clan Donald I think I did find him.
From what I found, Alexander Matheson was born around 1823 and he lived with his mother and sister in Coillemore between 1841-1851 (another village that was near Sconser and is now a part of Sconser. Some families were cleared to this village from Torramiochaig). He doesn’t appear anywhere after 1851, and Anne Beaton at the Skye and Lochalsh Archive Centre told me that he either died between 1851-1855, as people did not keep thorough death records until around 1855, or that he emigrated after 1851. According to the 1851 census, Alexander was 28 that year, and according to the song’s story the author died young. Though I can’t know for certain that this Alexander was the one who wrote the song, I like to think with what I was able to find that it was him.

The Song

I learnt about this song mainly from the recording of Alexander Nicolson on Tobar an Dualchais. Alexander Matheson was in love with a girl, but when Torramiochaig was cleared around 1840 she left with her parents for Australia. Alexander wanted to go with her, but her parents wouldn’t allow him. He fell ill sometime after this, and he wrote this song for the girl he loved before he died.
James Nicolson had a very similar story, the only differences being that he says the song was written around 1825 and that the girl emigrated to Canada.